Mother draws the line with boundary-crossing daughter-in-law who insists on calling her "mom" despite protest, the daughter-in-law tries to invite herself on a mother-daughter trip with her 20-year-old daughter: 'I told her I will never be her mother.'

Author image for Christiana Maimone
Christiana Maimone • Freelance Writer
Jul 7, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

Every family has its feuds. And when you throw in-laws in the mix, tensions often rise even higher. Famously, people either love their in-laws or avoid them like the plague. Some people seamlessly fit in with their partner's family and have few issues, while others experience personality clashes and conflict, especially when boundaries are crossed. 

For the family in this story, we have an instance where a woman craves a close relationship with her mother-in-law but does so in an uncomfortable, somewhat invasive way. When the mother-in-law has had enough and lays down the law, she's met with backlash from the family. She realizes that this conflict is also straining her relationship with her son. The story sparked quite a debate in the Reddit comments about family boundaries and who was in the wrong. It's normal to want a good relationship with your in-laws, but sometimes people just don't mix well together. 

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  • 01

    AITA for telling my DIL that I will never be her mother and to leave me alone

    This is mostly about my daughter-in-law (Kat). Her mother ran out on her when she was a child, and she went into foster care. According to my son, she's currently seeing a therapist.
    via Slow_throwaway_8233
  • 02
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    via luca romano

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models. 

  • 03
    My issue with Kat is that she has repeatedly stomped on my boundaries. She's a very touchy person, she refuses to call me by my name and only refers to me as "Mom." I correct her every time since I'm not comfortable being called "Mom" by her, and I want her to use my name.
    via Slow_throwaway_8233
  • 04
    There have been multiple times where she's asked inappropriate questions, mostly about why I'm not close to my own mother. (For context, my mother was horrible) Kat keeps pushing for details and insists I should get closer to her because "family sticks together."
    via Slow_throwaway_8233
  • 05
    She basically tells me to forgive my mom, and she doesn't understand not being close with one's parents. I've told her to drop the topic multiple times, and she refuses. Because of all this, I'm not a huge fan of hers.
    via Slow_throwaway_8233
  • 06
    I've spoken to my son about it, and he asked me to be patient. I've also talked to Kat multiple times and asked her to respect my boundaries. She always says she will, but then goes right back to ignoring them.
    via Slow_throwaway_8233
  • 07
    This is where I might be the j My daughter Sam (20) and I are taking a weekend trip. Sam has medical issue and needs to see a specialist a few states over. She hasn't disclosed the issue to the rest of the family yet (she plans to when she has a firm plan).
    via Slow_throwaway_8233
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    via Kateryna Hliznitsova (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models. 

  • 09
    Somehow, word about the trip got back to Kat, and she called me asking why she wasn't invited. I told her it's an important trip and not a fun one. She accused me of lying, claiming it was a "mother-daughter" trip that she was excluded from. I told her
    via Slow_throwaway_8233
  • 10
    was excluded from. I told her again this is not a girls' trip. She wouldn't let it go and started demanding that she come, saying that she's my daughter and needs to be there. I said no again. She
    via Slow_throwaway_8233
  • 11
    to be there. I said no again. She kept insisting, saying I am her "mom" and she has to come on this trip since is my kid. That's when I snapped. I told her I will never be her mother. Just because she married my son does not make me her parent. I told
    via Slow_throwaway_8233
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    Cheezburger Image 10520793600
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models. 

  • 13
    not make me her parent. I told her to leave me the f alone and that even if this was a mother-daughter trip, she still wouldn't be invited, because she isn't my kid. I then hung up.
    via Slow_throwaway_8233
  • 14
    My son says I need to apologize and invite her. That I am a huge to her. That I was way out of line and need to make it up to Kat. The situation has spread to the rest of the family, and
    via Slow_throwaway_8233
  • 15
    the rest of the family, and everyone seems to have their own opinion. Sam is getting flack: too, which isn't helping especially since she doesn't want to disclose the reason for the trip yet.
    via Slow_throwaway_8233
  • 16
    Am I being an a hole and need to apologize even tho those are my true feelings on her trying to make me her parent.
    via Slow_throwaway_8233

  • The comments were 50/50, with some feeling for the daughter-in-law, as she grew up without a solid mother figure in her life. Others argued that the mother-in-law was right to keep her boundaries firm and that it's not her job to heal the DIL's wounds. I'd say it was pretty harsh to say “I'll never be your mom” to someone who has childhood trauma, but it sounds like this mom just snapped and lost her temper. 

  • 17
    askaboutblu NTA. Your DIL is trying to use you to heal her mother wound instead of trying to build a relationship with you organically. She sounds insufferable tbh.
    via askaboutblu
  • 18
    No_Glove_1575 NTA. You don't just have a DIL problem, you also have a SON problem. He is clearly enabling whatever delulu world she lives in. Keep enforcing your boundaries!
    via No_Glove_1575
  • 19
    GothPenguin A thousand times NTA. Kat wanting a mother doesn't mean you are her mother or will ever be her mother. Yes, you snapped but only after repeatedly asking her to respect your boundaries, asking your son to help his wife respect your boundaries. Kat is not the victim here despite what she's trying to prove. She's the a_h_le.
    via GothPenguin
  • 20
    grumpyoldfartess NTA. She is trying to essentially force you into a role you never asked to play, and making everything you do with your actual daughter all about her. She's the problem here 100%.
    via grumpyoldfartess
  • 21
    Blushiba 18h ago I feel bad for Kat and for you. She wants a mom so bad that she lost her mind. You cant MAKE a relationship happen... however, she obviously really really has trauma. You cant fix it for her. You can apologize for saying things in the heat of the moment. After stuff comes out, maybe sit her down and talk about your feelings. This is the future mother of your grandchildren. You cant go around her to them
    via Blushiba
  • 22
    Imchatterbox NTA. Kat is overstepping. She has to accept that she isn't going to get what she wants out of this. She isn't entitled to it. I personally am closer to my MIL than my own mother, but that's the way she wants it to. It has to be a mutual thing.
    via Imchatterbox
  • 23
    Joczivelle 8h ago YTA. You're a mom and this motherless person is trying to connect with you. She never had a mother to teach her how to approach this right. Now that you've spoken your peace I do believe she deserves an apology. You should try to forge a relationship with this adult that clearly has childhood wounds that need healing. As a mother, I'd think you'd understand that.
    via Joczivelle
  • 24
    BadPom NTA in this situation, but do I feel for Kat. I think once the dust settles and your daughter discloses her medical situation, having a sit down with Kat is an important thing to do. Go over boundaries and expectations. Try to build a relationship with her, and explain that relationships take time and mutual effort- not just marrying someone's kid.
    via BadPom
  • 25
    Helorugger I am going to be the contrarian and say YTA because it seems like you have set the current situation up. She has married into your family and has no frame of reference for normal parental relationships. If for no other reason than love for your son, you should have taken the effort to make her family and show her some parental love. What you describe sounds like you have pushed her away and always made her an outsider in your family dynamic and she is lashing out because she doesn't b
    via Helorugger

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family drama daughter in law aita marriage AITAH marriage-drama Memes mother in law family boundaries Reddit son entitled people
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